This year, the United Nation’s 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence calls on us to unite to break the silence on violence against women. United under the Hashtag #HearMeToo survivors ask their communities to listen and stand with them when they speak up against one of the world’s greatest human rights violations. For Human Rights Day, the last day of the 16 Days, we spoke with our housemother, Binsa*, a survivor, an advocate and an important role model and attachment figure for young girls. Binsa, you are currently caring for 6 girls who have survived trafficking and abuse. The youngest just turned 10 years. What motivates you to do what you do? I’m a mother to six children coming from different cultural and backgrounds. Seeing the world through their eyes gives me the opportunity to learn new things every day. Their stories are different and caring for them I realise that the work I do is important. What I like most is listening to them and their stories and answering the many questions they have. It gives me a great sense of satisfaction. What are your hopes for the futures of the girls? Like every mother, I hope that they will learn new things, study hard and live a happy life. Additionally, I hope they will be able to talk about their experience and problems openly with the important people in their life. I hope they will grow up to become caring and helpful individuals who find their way back to their families and lead a happy life. What is the one important change needed for women in Nepal? In my opinion, the traditional Nepali way of remaining quiet and enduring everything has weakened women’s position and exposed them to violence. Also, there is this belief that men are superior to women and women should always feel subordinate to men. If I can change one thing, I will change the way women see themselves, make them realise that they are strong and equal to men. *Name changed to protect identity. Author: Sabine Keller
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What does your family do to celebrate special occasions? For Mother’s Day last year, Binsa’s family surprised her. Her daughters hid little notes all over the house with what they loved about her - in the laundry, near the front door and even in the rice cooker. The Project Didi family also has reason to celebrate - next year will mark three years of providing family based care to women and girls, who have experienced trafficking and abuse, in Nepal. Through our local partner, we support Binsa, a survivor herself, to provide a safe home for her biological daughter and five other girls. Three years on and the girls are rebuilding their lives. Urmila, the oldest at 17, has taken the role of big sister in her stride. She helps Binsa with the household chores and leads by example, raising her worries openly with her mother, something she wouldn’t have done when she first joined the home. Sofi, since her beginnings in the home as shy and anxious, has gained enormous confidence. She’s making friends and working hard at school. She just passed her mid-term test with flying colours! Ditya was recently reintegrated into the community and is living in a small flat close by the home. She’s been busy – completing her schooling and interning at a local police station as part of a paralegal training program. She said hearing the experiences of violence other women have faced through her internship has made her feel less alone in her own experiences. She stays in touch with our local partner and drops by their centre for career coaching sessions. She’s thinking about what’s next – a law degree or maybe a job as a police woman helping other girls. She’s one to watch! We’re really proud to have supported our local partner to make this transition to family based care from residential care. So, what’s the difference?
Family based care, when well supported and delivered, provides the individualised, consistent care children need. It values the whole individual, helping girls thrive with counselling, life skills development, schooling, sport and social activities, vocational training and career coaching - all part of our local partner’s program. Family based care allows girls to be girls - ones who love Bollywood movies, dancing and hair braids. It also provides a role model in Binsa. She models healthy relationships, open communication and resilience. She builds trust and self-confidence. While family based care is often the best alternative, it can’t replace a child’s biological family. Our priority is always to keep families together. Where this is not possible, our local partner works closely with a girl’s family, while she is in care, towards reintegration. We’re proud to say that one of Binsa’s girls was reintegrated with her mother this year. Three years of family based care has only been possible with generosity of the Project Didi community. Help us to continue supporting Binsa’s home on our crowdfunding campaign. We’ve got lots of amazing perks (for the whole family!) to make your donation a little sweeter! All names have been changed to protect identities. Artwork by the very talented Emma Van Veen. Author: Clare Bartram
I was fortunate enough to spend four days with some of the most amazing girls I have ever met and I loved every minute of it. Before going to Asha Nepal I was expecting the girls to be very shy and that there would be a large language barrier, however, I was amazed at how friendly the girls were and how well most of them spoke English. They made us all feel so welcome! Our program at Asha focused on positive psychology methods and ways to deal with challenging experiences. Our teacher who coordinated the trip, had created worksheets designed to be easy and fun to use, whilst still conveying important messages for the girls to use in their everyday lives, to help them in tough or despairing situations. For example, we did an exercise called “letting go” where the girls wrote things that troubled them onto a balloon and then blew up the balloon and “let it go”. Through this activity, we hoped the girls would learn some simple ways to discard negative thoughts and focus on the future. We also spent time playing football with them where everyone, even the teachers played! Our final day at Asha Nepal was spent talking to our new-found friends and enjoying ourselves. Asha Nepal has recently introduced a music program and to our delight, we were able to hear what they have accomplished on guitar, keyboard and in song. During our last day with the girls some of them did our hair in elaborate braids and others drew very decorative hennas on our hands. Our time at Asha Nepal ended with a few tears but with numerous memories which we will cherish forever. Through this incredible opportunity to get to know these girls, I have been able to learn so much and grow as a person. By understanding what most of the girls had gone through and after seeing how resilient and how much determination they have to shape their lives into something positive, my perspective of the world has changed. One of the key messages, which I learnt from my time at Asha, was how important it is to be grateful for the good things you have in your life. The few days that I spent at Asha Nepal were some of the best days and have left me with memories which I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I am now looking to my year as Project Didi’s Youth Ambassador! Keep an eye on their Facebook and blog for more from me later in the year.
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